Sunday, June 9, 2013


Most of us American men meet our Filipina online not knowing anything about their traditional ways of dating and courtship in there home country. The online dating and Internet has changed things a lot. It is a good idea to read and learn about the many differences and ways of the Filipina. This will give you a better understanding and you will need to change your way of thinking in order to make it a successful relationship. It's my belief that you can't have the same mentality you had when you where with your American female. Keep reading below and make your own assumptions.

If you were to approach your Filipina in person it would be more subdued or indirect. In the old days, the practice of singing romantic songs, reciting poems, gift giving was the norm. Often the suitor expressed his interest discreetly. Usually to walk up to a female and ask her for a phone number is not a good way to start your persuasion for her to like you. She will be shy and secretive of her feelings for you. Most men in the Philippines will express his interests through a mutual friend. Or he will ask the father of the female if he can visit the home and tell the family he likes their daughter. He must also bring pasalubong (small simple gifts). If they take to him kindly and she encourages him it continues. If she shows anger the pursuit stops. The couple are never left alone in the beginning stages, and there is a chaperon on the first few dates. Guys maybe that's why she meets you at the airport with 100 of her cousins. (JOKE, JUST KIDDING). My wife came with 2 of her cousins, and they went their own way after a few hours. At first most Filipina seem to play hard to get, not flirty, shows restraint, modesty, shyness, demonstrates good upbringing, and well mannered or reserved.

The couple is never considered engaged until they have the blessing of both parents and dowry is met. Dowry is gift giving from the soon to be grooms family to the brides family. In the Philippines marriage is the union of two families not just the husband and wife. Today they still have the same views even with modern technologies. This may be why online relationships work so well with the Filipina. The courtship is actually similar through video chat and text messaging etc. And the practice of pre-maritel sex is less stressful coz of the long distance as she finds it easier to uphold those values.

I think it is also a good idea to make sure you visit the family and stay with them in there house for a while and practice some of the ways you just read about. This will make them very happy, as they are very hospitable and gracious. Keep in mind the family has not been involved in the traditional courtship even though they may know about her online romance. If she brings you home your a foreigner she is telling her family she already made the commitment to marry you without the 1 to 2 years of courting in their presence. Why not demonstrate your worthiness by helping out and doing chores around the house while your there. Visit the resorts and tourist spots, stay in hotels but please spend time in the family's home as well. You will be glad you did.

I will write about my first eventful visit in another post.

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